Headstand

I did a headstand in my yoga class this morning. When the teacher was demonstrating this I initially thought "NO WAY." I couldn't really do the hand stand position, which is meant to be easier. But, there I was at about 10.45am, inverted. Defying logic. Forearms and head supporting my entire body weight.


The theme of the day has been somewhat upside down. At my elephant appointment this afternoon I was told that the elephant is "grumbling." That is to quote the man who knows. So out with the peachy pills. Back home with some little white ones instead.


Of course there have been tears. But we had a sense things were not quite right. Defying logic I have been relatively calm. Maybe there is a whole load of emotion to come. Who knows. What I do know is I got through this process infinitely better than I normally do. I am amazed I managed to have a conversation with Dr J. Apparently I even cracked a joke and a smile. And tomorrow I will be getting on with my day.

Funny Place

I feel funny. Nervous. I want the next few hours to be gone but equally I don't want them at all.

Some places in me are twingy. I have been very tired the past few days. Don't know if it is a low blood count, the elephant or time of year. Could be any or all of them all.

I just feel like curling up in a ball in bed and sleeping. How nice it must be not to live with the elephant. Oh to wake one day and it just not be there. Right now I can't really remember what that was like. I may be about to look this one in the eye.

Wicked The Musical

I went to see this show on Friday evening with my ma-in-law and sis-and-bro-in-law. Second only to Cirque de Soleil in Vegus, it was probably the most spectacular set that I have seen in a London theatre. Really all out in the wow factor. Fantastic lighting, costumes and set.

As a pretty new musical, you can see the tracks are going to become real stage classics. My sister in law is already singing some of them with her local choir. My favourite was the "defying gravity" track just before the interval.

We went to Chez Gerrard at Victoria for pre theatre food. Would definitely recommend this. Reasonably priced. Very easy to find. I had a lobster filled crepe. Really good. I was glad we went for pre theatre, rather than post theatre food as I was really very tired by the end of the show. Worth it though. I do find theatre good escapism. I have heard the Jersey Boys is very good so should look into tickets for that.

Gavin and Stacey - Final Series

I got back from my first Christmas drinks of the year last night, which was at the studio where I am doing my course, and was REALLY tired. Think the last few days have caught up with me. I did have the nice time though. I had reindeer canapes. I have never had reindeer before. My genius taste bud observation was that it really tasted like venison, which Jonny then pointed out to me later was because they are basically the same animal. Doh.

Anyway, I was going to get a super early night as felt I needed it. Then noticed that Gavin and Stacey was on at 9 so decided I had enough energy to watch that. I LOVE this show. I have done since the start. I know that since the hugely successful Christmas special last year it has got an increased following. But I have been with it for a long time.

I feel there are special reasons why I find it so funny. Stacey is from Barry Island and when I was a student in Cardiff I went for a day out there. It is therefore brings back kind of nostalgic memories of my time in South Wales, and so many of the things that they make fun of used to make me laugh when I was living there. Locals in South Wales really do say "what's occurring?" Another favourite line is "is it" at the end of practically every sentence. And this is slightly off topic but when I was working as a cashier in a high street bank in Cardiff locals would come in to access their bank. Not their bank account, but their bank. Honestly they all talked like they owned the whole place. And another classic line is "I will do it after." After what exactly? This one had me confused for ages. It basically means later, or after the thing they are doing, although they never actually complete the sentence by committing to exactly after what.

At the start of this series Gavin is now living in Barry. The office he is working at is so similar to a place that I worked for a summer. By a bizarre twist of coincidence Jonny has also visited this company with his research work. This really is quite a statistically unlikely thing as the place is tiny, and in an unknown suburb of Cardiff called St Mellons. Ness hosts the christening of Neil Noel Edmunds Smith - the result of a few minutes spent in the garden with Smithy at Gavins parents house in an earlier series. The whole cast is brilliant. Jonny thinks the old lady who is always swearing who lives next door to Staceys Mam is hilarious. Personally Ness and Smithy are my favourites.

I don't know why they have decided to call time on this series. But maybe it is one of those things that should end on a high. For now I am really glad it is back on air, and I have my sky plus box firmly set on series link. Tidy.

Early Morning Stretch - South Kensington

I'm just back from a lovely morning in South Kensington. One of the teachers from my course runs a class there early on a Friday, and so my MP teacher friend and I went to observe/take part. The studio is set in a really lovely cobbled backstreet in South Kensington and it was great experience for me to visit another studio and learn from the teacher. We didn't get a chance to take a photo but will probably be going back again at some point so will post one then. I love that London has these hidden streets that you really would not stumble upon at all. We went for a coffee afterwards opposite South Kensington station. Nice part of town. Nice chocolate croissant too.

I got up earlier than I usually do and as I walked to my friends house at about 7.15 this morning it was just getting light. There is actually something really nice about getting up early sometimes and not missing out on that part of the day. Lucky old me was off to stretch though, unlike most of the other commuters on the tube. Take the rough with the smooth that's what I say.

Bicester Village, nr Oxford

I have just got back from a VERY fun day out indeed. My friend took me to Bicester Village for some Christmas shopping / retail therapy. I have never been before. I always imagined this place to be like a sort of glorified TK Max with not a lot of choice and the kind of discount stuff that no one would like anyway. How wrong I was.

It is aesthetically nice to look at. And big. It has a modern village feel about it. And what a choice of shops. Basically most of the places you can think of and more. Cath Kidston, Jack Wills, The White Company, Calvin Klein, Diesel, The North Face, Mulbury, Fat Face, Seven Jeans Store, Villroy and Boch. Loads more too. The stores don't have the same current range that you would get in Westfield, but if you are just looking for nice gifts or really like a particular brand and don't mind that is it last years cut or fabric then it really is the place to go. I did well on some Christmas bits and pieces. Can't write more about that as some of the recipients will be reading this blog.

My steal of the day was a pair of Seven Jeans. Retail price £169, reduced to £75 and when I got to the till they were reduced to £45. This is where female logic kicks in. I didn't spend £45 really. I saved £125. If you take that logic all round Bicester it just makes the whole experience even better.

Swine Flu Jab

I had my swine flu jab this morning, along with my "normal" flu jab. Because I have a compromised immune system both the other JC and I fall into the category which are a priority for getting it. I had been a little uncertain about having this jab. It is new and you kind of get nervous about a new drug that has been developed in a short time frame in response to the epidemic. I felt somewhat reassured the other day when a friend pointed out to me that straight flu jabs have been around for many years, and apparently all they have done is varied the make up slightly to protect you against this swine flu strain.

Anyway, it is done now, so no point worrying about the "what ifs." I know of friends who have had swine flu and it is a nasty thing to catch. And although hitting the headlines less than a few months ago, it is certainly still very much alive and kicking and looking for new people to knock out. I could do without being one of them.

I had my swine flu in my left arm and my normal flu jab in my left buttock. I did request it all went into the bum area as I have a lot more flesh/flab/fat there. Apparently not. I am glad I requested some went into my butt though as my left arm feels pretty achy, as does my hip area so think that may have been a very sore arm indeed. Other than that I feel OK.

I saw a different nurse at the surgery to the one I normally see. She could have won awards in the "what not to say to Jo" competition, when asking me why I was having it. So bad it was laughable. Well certainly it was either laugh or cry. I'll give you a taste... her farewell comment was "keep smiling." Er - hello! Whatever. My friend was waiting for me in the waiting room ready to whisk me off for some retail therapy. I just don't have a confrontational personality. But she could really do with some kind of sensitivity training. Remind me to make appointments Monday to Wednesday in future.

Jo Blogz Wednesday afternoon update

I got through this mornings hospital business smoothly enough. Thanks for the messages, signs, prayers and love. 5 year old Olly on skype at 7am this morning made me smile a lot.

Afternoon of Gilmore Girls and sewing machine action planned before a possible nap. Am being well looked after today. Gen is even bringing my tea round for me later on as my Jonny is off in Holland with work. Think he may be having a more stressful day than me actually. His secretary printed out the wrong presentation which is nothing to do with what they are meant to be talking about. Just what you need when you don't want to be away from your wife today of all days anyway. Craziness. Spent the morning under the observation of technology myself. Yet technology can bring so much stress all at the same time. I'm not making any sense. Lets blame my glowing radioactive state.

Weary Girl

I have had a couple of pretty nice days in lots of ways. Yesterday I enjoyed my yoga class and then had a couple of friends over for a cuppa in the afternoon. I am making progress on my Cath Kidston shoulder bag I am making with my sewing machine. Today I have focused on my course project. Class this morning and then popped to South Kensington to observe another this afternoon. I have been super organised buying my friends new baby a present within an hour of hearing of its arrival. I have cooked. I have texted and called people.

So I guess I am doing ok. And I am getting things done. I am living. I'm just so weary of this elephant business. And I am about to go through a process AGAIN that is so tiresome and stressful. Nuff said for now. And if you are wondering why the elephant reference, I have posted a link to the right of the blog. I live with An Elephant in the Room.

Economy Gastronomy - update 3

The past couple of nights I have been back on the Economy Gastronomy case. I like the precision of cooking, which seems to give me some control at points when I fear I may be about to loose it. Anyway, I have discovered the "mid week suppers" section of the book. Last night I made the Cuban chicken. I have never been to Cuba so have no idea how genuinely Cuban this recipe is but there you go. It is one of those one pot dishes that are easy to do ahead. Essentially it is chicken marinated with herbs, all cooked in chicken stock with onion, garlic and peppers. You use chicken legs too, which are cheaper. I used the stock made from one of the other recipes and it came out a-o-k. I think. I mean it made loads. Jonny demolished his very quickly indeed. I just kind of picked at it as was having a stomach in knots kind of hour over dinner. We have lots of the rice leftovers in the freezer, which is kind of like a risotto. Which is handy anyway.

Tonight was more successful in terms of me eating it at least. I love frittata. I generally find that if I am struggling to eat then eggs of any description go down well. So the combination of new potatoes, chorizo, spring onions and eggs made for a thumbs up tonight. Really easy and nice top tip to line your pan with greaseproof paper to save the bottom on the pan sticking issue. Picture below. Not sure it looks that "wow" but this one is a winner. And eggs are extremely good for you too.

Anatomy Lesson

I have spent the day learning about anatomy. This is the part of the course that I probably have the least prior knowledge of. I have "combined science" GCSE, which I can remember very little about, and that is the closest I have come to learning any sort of physiology before. So I concentrated hard.

Fortunately the teacher was very lovely and worlds apart from my biology teachers in school. Very practical ways of learning. Using model skeletons, diagrams and lots of looking at our own bodies.

I didn't find it gory at all. Some people have questioned whether I would find it disturbing learning about our insides, given the elephant in mine. I didn't. In fact, I found it rather confidence building that lots of my body still works. And it underlined how important it is for me to strengthen and stretch bits of it.

Lots to learn and I will need to spend some time with my anatomy colouring book. It's been a pretty intense weekend of learning but one that I have really enjoyed. I'm exhausted though. Using ones brain and body at the same time actually requires quite a bit of concentration in my case. Maybe that is because my brain isn't that big. Shame I can't "deep stretch" that.

Top UK on-line Christmas Shopping websites

So. I have spent the day stretching. A lot. All good. Am enjoying a lot. And came home and did some more Christmas shopping. I have done a lot of Christmas shopping this week. Without leaving the sofa. In no particular order, these sites are great:

http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/

Great for original gifts for any occasion. If you are ever stuck for a birthday gift idea or Christening gift, or something original this is the place to go. Has saved me on more than one occasion

http://www.pedlars.co.uk/

New discovery this year. Great for vintage British gift ideas. Anything from kitchen gadgets to games to clothes. Used this quite a bit this year

http://www.amazon.com/

Can't beat it. Why would anyone buy books or cds from anywhere else? Can also get loads of other stuff here these days, from hoovers to gym gear to kids toys. They are no longer using Royal Mail. I have had several big boxes arrive next day this week.

http://www.marksandspencers.com/

Those who know me well, know my soft spot for Marksies. They come up with the goods again and again. Very reasonably priced and friends can return if they don't like with no fuss.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/

Not necessarily for second hand stuff, lots of traders use this as a point of sale these days. Cath Kidston noticeboard anyone? This is the place to be. Also if your nearest and dearest happens to ask for a 20 year old meccano set for Christmas, check this out.

http://www.breastcancercampaign.org/shop/products/

Couldn't help plugging my charity of choice. Bought all my cards and wrap from here and well...if you are struggling for knowing which charity to support then, why don't you?

http://www.thewhitecompany.com/

Beautiful things at slightly silly prices. But who wouldn't like something from the White Company. I am dreaming of the full length cashmere gown...

http://www.johnlewis.com

Newly done website - a lot more available on line than there used to be and my sources on the inside inform me that you can now arrange for your order to be sent to your local Waitrose and you can pick it up from there so you don't need to wait in for a delivery of large items. Nice.

There you have your starter for 10. Will update with more should if I have missed anything. Happy Clicking.

Looking after me

I find it really hard to stop. I like to be out, be with people, be part of what is going on. However, I have had to take it easy the past couple of days. I have cancelled plans to meet up with people and am not doing my usual Thursday cooking at church this evening. I found this last one a bit hard to say I wouldn't do, as I love being part of it and serving, but think it is the right decision as right now I need to just take some time to rest.

I was sat in the doctors waiting room yesterday lunchtime and there were lots of people spluttering everywhere. I must have looked very rude with my scarf right across my face but needs must. And I am going to have the swine flu jab as that is still going around and quite frankly if I'm entitled to have it then I could really do without picking up that one.

One of the ways I have looked after myself the past few years is through the gift of a friend who has given me lots of reflexology. This has really helped with relaxation and general well being. No idea of the science behind it but makes me feel better. However I'm not having this at the moment as she has just given birth and so quite literally has her hands full.

SO I didn't cancel the offer of another friend to pop over this afternoon and give me a foot massage. Not quite reflexology but still very nice indeed.

Now it's probably time to put my candles on and watch a DVD. After all so many people are telling me to "look after me" so I will be in trouble if I don't. Just don't tell anyone I will be writing my Christmas cards at the same time. Yes, you see. I find it hard to stop.

Bugs update

I feel rubbish. Very hard to put into words my exact symptoms but I feel wiped out. Sore throat, bit sick in the night, feel weak. I know lots of people are feeling rubbish right now so I am not alone. May be a bug. Maybe that is it, and it isn't the elephant. Who knows.

Off to observe and definitely NOT take a class now. Going to sit at the back with my scarf on in a very unstretched bad posture. Hardly the look of a instructor in training. Best slap some extra make up on and hopefully that will save the day.

Super Healthly Green Vegetable Soup

Anyone would think I have some scan or something looming, given this was the most obvious thing I could think to make for my tea. And I continue on sugar strike. Maybe there is. Maybe there isn't. But anyway I got more excited the more green vegetables I put in this soup. It also probably had something to do with it being dinner for one tonight, hence no moaning about the lack of bacon or cheese or pasta in this, had someone else been home. Which are apparently on the alternative list of superfoods.

Ingredients:

Good glug of olive oil (anti inflammatory properties, good for healthy cells)
1 Leek, chopped, Sliced shallots, Crushed garlic cloves (all high in anti nasty qualities)
1 fennel bulb (detoxing for liver)
I small head of broccoli, including the stalk, sliced and half a cauliflower. (Crucifous vegetables are the king of superfoods.)
1 pint of hot vegetable stock
Large splash of white wine (well this has grapes in it and adds to the flavour)
Lots of ground black pepper
Generous amount of chopped parsley.

Put a large heavy based pan on the hob. Heat the oil and then add the ingredients in the order listed. Softening as you go. Add the hot stock and wine. Bring to the boil. Turn down to simmer and leave for approx. 20 minutes.

After the 20 minutes has passed, use a handheld blender to blend until smooth, leaving some chunky veg in it. Add the parsley and stir well. Add lots of freshly ground black pepper and serve.

Now. Give this recipe a chance. It may make Gillian McKeith proud but it actually tasted really good. The cauliflower gives it a creaminess. The leeks and fennel a depth of flavour. And the stock and wine give good consistency.

Ok. So this tasted good. But Jonny is at Nobu on some work dinner this evening and I think his tea probably tasted marginally better than mine. And I know fish is good for you too, but think I win the superfood prize this evening. Although if I had been offered the chance to go to Nobu tonight I would be there too. Loving the Miranda show on BBC 2 though. Not that I am biased about the cast or anything.

Cauliflower Cheese recipe

Can't really take the credit for this one. Asked my sister how to make it - but it came out well and was great with the beef pasties for a quick and easy Friday night supper.

Ingredients:

1 Cauliflower
1 Broccoli
Approx 50g butter
Approx 75g flour
Approx 200ml milk
approx 100g Cheddar cheese, grated
Salt and Pepper

Preheat oven to 180

Boil the cauliflower and broccoli in some salted water for about 10 minutes until softened. Drain and set aside in your over dish.

To make your cheese sauce first melt the butter over a gentle heat. Add the flour and make a paste. Add the milk, and, whisking continuously, bring to the boil. Reduce the heat and stir in the cheese and salt and pepper.

Pour over your veg and put in the oven for about 15-20 minutes. Nice.

Economy Gastronomy - Tumbledown Beef Pasties

One word.

Delicious.

Didn't last long in this house. And yes I did make my own pastry.

Sunday Stretching for Debsie

I had my friend Debs over this morning to practice my 60 minute sample session on her. It's quite amazing to work with someone who has never done Method Putkisto before and see how much the impact the stretches can have. Longer legs, leaner waistline, more balanced body. I really enjoyed it. She is keen for more, so that is good too.

Whilst we were in the conservatory the boys were watching the cricket in HD. There really is no let up from sport in this house. If it's not the football, it's the cricket or rugby or moto GP or something. And in this game the South Africans thrashed England which pleased Stu but not Jonny.

Post exercise (where the girls did some, and the boys watched some) we went to the Plough for lunch. Couldn't get in to the Victoria as was fully booked. But am pleased to say the Plough was busy for today too. And incredibly we ate our lunch outside in the sunshine. A beautiful autumn day after the storms and gales of yesterday.

We chatted about possible plans to go to Capetown together in the Spring. And maybe a bit of safari too. I get fearful the elephant could stop these ideas becoming a reality. But that's only a few months away so here's hoping not. Just watching David Attenburghs "Life" in HD as I write this. They are on Little Tobago where we once visited. Happy memories. There is a big world out there I would love to see more of. Please.

Economy Gastronomy: Paul Merrett

I was in the Victoria earlier in the week, and last night actually but anyway, I spoke to Paul about his cook book. I'm not sure he is a celebrity chef in the same sense as say Jamie Oliver or Gordon Ramsey YET, but he is on the telly and has a couple of cook books out. So that make him kind of a celebrity chef, right?

I told him how I had been trying out his book and writing reviews of the recipes on my blog. He is a really smiley man and was really nice about it. We had a little chat and he said thank you very much.

Nice man. Good pub. Great recipes so far.

He wanted me to try out the other book which is all about growing your own veg on an allotment. Not sure I am quite there yet, and don't think Farmville on Facebook counts, but if the farmers on the family want to take on that challenge then I will let him know.

My Course: First Class

This morning I gathered up my course file and notebook and gently wandered around the corner to do my first class "observation." I have to do quite a lot of these so made sure I had my pen and paper so I could take lots of notes. Good to have a focus for my Friday morning.

I get there early and set myself up with my papers. The four participants arrive, most of whom I have attended classes with before and they all say well done for going for it. Time passes. No instructor. They start to stretch themselves a bit. So, I offer to do a warm up with them until the instructor arrives. There must have been an admin mix up because no instructor came... so I ended up taking the entire class following my sample class instructions from my file. Not what I was expecting this morning... and very early on to be taking a class after only one weekend of training BUT I really loved doing it. The ladies were all really nice to me and very complimentary. They got a good stretch out. I got to practice. So much for starting it off slowly. But maybe this is the best way to learn.

And maybe I can do this after all.

Bugs

There are bugs every where at the moment. So many people I know have coughs, colds, viruses. I know people who have had swine flu. I heard earlier in the week that some huge number, like 300 or something, are absent from a local school due to "bugs."

They seem to be hard to shift. My friends husband has been ill for over 2 weeks now. What's worse for me is there are bugs in my house. Jon is full of cough and cold and not good at all. I have a bit of a sore throat and, according to the hospital, a low while cell count. This means low immunity. This means bugs are not good.

Please don't breathe on me.

Homework Avoidance Tactics

I've just been doing some of my homework for my new course. I like my course a lot. The other people seem really nice and although my first weekend of study I found pretty tiring, I am glad I am doing this. The studio is a nice place to be in the main. I say "in the main" because sometimes stretching and strengthening your muscles can hurt. A lot.

I am sure I will have my "what an earth am I doing?" moments. I think I had one of these around mid Sunday when my brain was feeling saturated with information. The amount I need to cover and absorb is somewhat overwhelming. You should see the size of the file. Brought back memories of my accountancy exams when I used to spend weeks and weeks studying every page of lever arch files.

But given I am interested in this subject, it's a little worrying that I found myself doing homework avoidance tactics this afternoon. Wrote a long list of all the things I MUST get done before I got on. Clear the decks so I can give it my full focus. Yeah right. It's because I am a bit overwhelmed and didn't really know what I was doing. At the bottom of the mountain so to speak.

Anyway, once I got stuck in, I lost about 3 hours looking at all sorts of diagrams of muscles and bones in the body and how they all attach. I made my own pretty pictures of stick men with a colour key and lots of pretty arrows and crosses of muscle groups, directions of movement and lots of other technical things that I didn't know before. I have a large book of Musculo-skeletal anatomy and a couple of anatomy colouring books that I think I am going to be spending a lot of time with over the next few months. Our insides are amazing. Seriously. We have all these layers of muscles connecting different bits of us. They link up in all sorts of directions. And someone somewhere once gave them all difficult Latin names. Darn. I never really got very far with Latin in school. I do remember "Caecillius est mort," but don't think that is going to help me here.

Someone said to me I may find this subject difficult, given the issues with my own body. I don't feel like that at all. This exercise makes my body feel good, and learning about it so far has only made me understand better why that is, which is part of the reason I signed up in the first place.

It's all a bit scary though. I've got an anatomy exam in 3 weeks and my first demonstration of a 60 minute sample session in 4. It's going to be a steep learning curve and I hope I don't fall off that mountain. Right now I fear I might.

Mr Brady Fish and Chips

If you like fish and chips. This is the place to go. Brady's on Old York Road in Wandsworth. My friends have often said this is good nosh, but it wasn't until I tried it myself that I was a true convert. It's the real deal when it comes to fish and chips, with posh varieties on sauces on the side, like tomato and basil, should you want to make it more posh.

I went this evening to meet up with a couple of my lovely uni friends Misbah and Debs and other halfs. What a nice evening. Good chat, great food and another birthday cake (lovely surprise!) And Mr Brady is such a nice man, he even gave me a bottle of wine too. Now that is the way to get a good review in blog world.

It worked. Mr Brady you are fab. Hope you enjoyed your piece of sponge cake.

We will be back.

Christmas Cake 2009

Right. Enough of all that doom and gloom of yesterday. Today is another day. I did mention that I baked my Christmas cake yesterday. This is all slightly nuts as proper Christmas cake rarely all gets eaten. I'm also now on a sugar strike. It's not that mine is not any I good I'm sure. It's just that it's not that popular.

I, however, always make one. To be honest the main reason is because I love to feed the cake. You see Delia says that to get the best rich cake, then you need to make it many weeks in advance and then feed it some brandy at regular intervals. I love this bit. It's like nourishing your cake to make it even richer and more Christmassy. So, if any one wants any around Christmas time - this cake is going to be laced with booze.

It take about 4 and half hours on a low temperature to cook. And preparation time starts at least 12 hours earlier when you soak all your fruit in brandy. I put mine in the oven last night before we went out and returned to the house full of those lovely spicy Christmassy smells. I even had that smell on waking this morning. A bit like when I do the festive ham and boil it for a couple of hours or so.

Anyway, the upshot of starting the cake is that I also need to start thinking about Christmas. I have had emails and phone calls from family asking what we want. The main problem being Jonny who is SO hard to buy for. As we are away this year it also feels like I need to start getting organised a little earlier. Christmas cards and wrapping paper have been bought. Is it worth sending any given the post issue? Whatever. Send them anyway.

I love Christmas. I'm ok with cold weather and getting dark early up until then. And I like the preparation and the project of it all. And this year I am going to be in Bethlehem. Now it doesn't get much more Christmassy than that.

The Roller Coaster

I think it was Ronan Keating who sung about life being a roller coaster. And think it was me who said I would never EVER going to write about the elephant on my blog. But I've just had a really turbulent day. With ups and downs and times that I'm just about hanging on.

It started off nicely enough. Off to Monday morning yoga. I had a lovely time in my class. I was squealing with delight that I managed to get my body into a very strange position and balance my entire body weight on my arms. This body still works. I've just spent the weekend stretching it. Afterwards I grab a take out coffee and head for my Monday elephant appointment.

I am well aware by now of my ability to have a complete personality and mood change on entering the hospital. The care is very good. I just feel so fragile and vulnerable and downright scared whenever I go. Still I know that today should not be too bad. Just collect my peachy pills and head off. The nurse weighs me, and I tell her not to tell me my weight. She forgets and blurts it out to the entire waiting room. Great. The blood pressure machine then hurts my arm. A lot. I then go to have some blood taken and the nurse asks me how I am. I mention something about birthday blues last week... she is sympathetic and asks me more, and before you know it the flood gates are opened. Every member of the medical staff I now see today has me in full teary mood.

I eventually head down to pharmacy to collect the medications. The lady sat next to me smiles and tells me not to cry. She wipes a tear from her eye too. "We are all here for the same reason," she says. I say I know, it's just been such a long road and it gets to me sometimes. She says not to worry because God knows. I tell her I know he does.

Somehow in the midst of this a young woman appears at my side. I rarely talk to other patients, so this is slightly random. She tells me she has just been told she is to have chemotherapy and wants to know how I still have my hair. I give her lots of advice and my contact details and try to be as helpful as I can. She says I really am... through my tears. She leaves and another lady tells me she has overheard my conversation and I have cheered her up too. "How?" I ask. She is about to start new treatment and is scared. She is in a very similar situation with her health to me, as it turns out. She tells me her boyfriend and her are planning to get married next year, but she doesn't know whether she can, given the elephant. I tell her how my wedding was the most special day, and one of the shining lights of the past five years. She says if I got married then she sees that she can too.

After waiting like FOREVER I collect what came for and as I leave I pass my consultant in the corridor. Such a nice man, who always sees me at my utter worst. He asks how I am and comments how well I am looking. I say that I feel well, if only that was always a representation of what is going on on the inside. I must sound so ungrateful.

I eventually get home after what seems like an eternity. I love my home. There is a letter from Breast Cancer Campaign on the doormat thanking me for the winnings in the pub quiz. How crazy that in this horrid situation with my health that I would so choose to not be in, I seem to be making a very small bit of difference. And maybe those conversations I had through those tears helped those ladies today. Who knows.

My lovely faithful friend Gen appears and we hang out like Gen and Jo do. Jonny phones. We talk the way Jonny and Jo do. I'm still me. I start to make my Christmas cake, that no one will eat, the way Jo does every year. I'm still me. I have to collect my Jonny from the station. I'm still me. We get ready to go to the pub quiz. I'm still me. My mood improves. I'm feeling better again.




This roller coaster is an emotionally exhausting one to be on.

Meatloaf

Never really been a fan. Of the artist or the dish. So, was a somewhat reluctant choice from the so far very successful Economy Gastronomy cookbook. However, a glance down the ingredients this morning made me think I should open my views somewhat. Aubergine and olives. Nice. Oregano, garlic and onion. Good. Lamb mince. I had some good quality stuff in the freezer. Didn't have a lot of other options for this evening either quite frankly.

So, back from from first day of my course (all good but that's another post) into the magi mix went all the ingredients. This is slightly away from Allegra's guidance but hey, it's my meatloaf so who cares? Fiddly bit was the aubergine but worth it for the nice strips that line your loaf. Other than that, whizz and whack in loaf tin in the oven.

Verdict: Apart from the realisation on eating that I had used whole and not pitted olives... pleasantly surprised. I think this dish proves my theory that if you take good quality fresh ingredients, and complimentary mix of flavours, all should be fine. Can't say this is ever going to be my favourite dish in the world but tasted a-o-k.

As for Mr Meatloaf himself. It will take more than a decent mix of his tunes to change my music tastes I'm afraid. More of a Take That girl.

Jamie's Recipease: Northcote Road

Last night we went to learn "How to cook the Perfect Steak." I've been to a couple of other places for cooking evenings. I'm quite big on experiences these days, so this was a great birthday present. And the fact it was steak even got Jonny interested.

This place was a lot more informal and relaxed than other places I have been for cooking lessons, and definitely had that Jamie feel about it. Small group - 10 max, and you can see from the picture you got your own workstation in this area that just forms the rear part of the store.

We started with a glass of wine whilst our host explained to us the different cuts, and showing us how to cook them. We get to try them to get the taste buds going. We learnt that, in her opinion, rib eye gives the best flavour, whilst fillet is the most tender but less strong flavour. So, from what I can remember, your top tips for the perfect steak are:

• Finger test. Thumb to forefinger - meaty part of hand texture = medium rare. Thumb to middle finger = medium. Thumb to ring finger = well done.
• Medium rare is best flavour as the blood and juices are what gives it the flavour
• Get your plan REALLY smokey hot
• Bring steak to room temperature before placing on hot pan (about half an hour)
• Add oil and seasoning generously whilst your steak is on the board. Never add oil to the pan.
• Once steak is in pan, prod it a lot but do not move it.
• Once steak starts to lift from pan - it is sealed and you can turn it
• Only need to turn a steak maximum of 4 times
• Once you see the blood juices coming through - you have a pretty good indication of medium rare
• Allow the steak to rest for approx 5 minutes before serving
• Cut against the grain of the steak

I had to upload this one as it is such a rare picture of Jonny cooking his own dinner. Bless.He looks so serious about it too:

After the steaks were cooked to perfection, we all sat down and ate them with salad and new potatoes and maybe a little more wine. As it is a small group, there is ease of conversation with others at the evening and lots of fun. I tell my fellow chefs that I will be writing a review of this place on my blog so what do they think of it? The overriding consensus is that it is a really fun evening and everyone would definitely go again. Jamie's development points (oh dear I still sound like a big 4 firm consultant...) were:

• Could have brought in more about how to cook the trimmings like potatoes etc
• Most people would have liked some guidance on the sauces you can make with your steak
• No goody bag. A little take home recipe card or something would have been a nice gesture.

After closing the four of us wander on for just one more drink. We end up in Be @ One where I haven't been for 8 years when I first moved to London. We may have ended up doing some good moves to cheesy music (like Baywatch theme tune!) whilst Jon Young played his leg air guitar. Oh dear. But was a very fun evening. Thanks Sis.

Learning about Stretching

I'm starting my new course tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it. Anyone who has spent time with me over the past few months would have had the "I don't know whether to do this or not but I really want to" conversation. Thank you for your patience and your encouragement. My hesitations were mainly due to my health stuff. BUT I finally decided to go for it. The studio said they would have me - so tomorrow I start to learning about how to stretch people. And then I will be learning more about Pilate's.

I've been doing Pilate's and stretching for about 3 years now. I really enjoy it and I've been amazed that I have been able to continue with it throughout some pretty tough treatments. I really believe in the health benefits of it and it has helped me massively to have confidence in my body and to keep well. And this is the first time in my life (with the exception of photography and the odd cooking class) that I am going to be learning about something that I am really interested in. I've spent years just going along with things because I don't know what else to do.

It will be good for me to have a focus, and something that is my "thing." I'm up for the challenge and only hope I keep well so I can see it through. I really really want to do this. And I'm pretty darn pleased that I am going to. Funny old life hey? The elephant seems to want to stop this body working, but here I am using it more than most. Take that cancer.

Roasted venison sausages and butternut squash with mash and buttered leek gravy

This was more of a "what on earth am I going to cook for dinner tonight?" moment. I looked in fridge, freezer and vegetable bowl and this is what I came up with. It tasted really good and would definitely make again. Think the squash would be optional.

As an aside this is sausage and mash that is good for you! My nutritionist told me that venison sausages are good for you as they have a higher proportion of meat in them, and the meat is less intensively reared, therefore better quality too. The squash has vitamin E that is great for the skin, the potatoes potassium and the leeks are high in anti nasty qualities.

Ingredients:

• 6 venison sausages
• 1 butternut squash, peeled and chopped
• 1 red onion, peeled and quartered
• Couple of cloves of garlic, peeled
• 3 white potatoes, peeled and chopped
• Knob of butter and splash of milk for mashing
• 3 leeks, washed and chopped
• Large knob of butter
• 1/2 pint of vegetable stock

Method:

Preheat oven to 180 degrees. In large roasting tray put in sausages, squash, onions and garlic. Drizzle with Olive oil. Put in oven for approx 40 minutes. Check occasionally to turn sausages and squash.

Meanwhile make mash. Boil potatoes for about 20 minutes, then mash with butter and milk. Set to one side.

For gravy. Soften leeks in melted butter for about 10 minutes. Add hot stock and bring to the boil and then simmer for about 5 minutes.

In warm bowls place mash, followed by sausages and roasted veg. Spoon over generous amount of leeky gravy. Season with freshly ground black pepper. Done.

Thai Green Curry

This one went down well. I have made Thai Green Curry so many times that I tend to make it up as I go along these days. If we have people for dinner then I make my own paste. Whilst impressive this can be dangerous as chilli's can be different heat and on one occasion I served an unintentionally VERY hot version for a couple of friends, who went bright red and were sweating lots and guzzled their own weight in water. Not my finest culinary moment.

Requests for recipe last night (and this is quick and easy and using shop bought paste!)

Serves 4

Ingredients:

• 1 white onion, finely sliced
• 2 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed
• Large dash of flavourless oil - I use ground nut oil
• 2 chicken breasts, skinned and diced. 2 chicken thighs, skinned and diced. I find the mixture of white and brown meat best
• 300g mushrooms, sliced OR bag of frozen char grilled vegetables
• 1 X 400g can coconut milk
• 400g hot vegetable or chicken stock
• Few crushed lime leaves (buy frozen from Waitrose)
• Couple of tablespoons chopped coriander (by frozen from Waitrose)
• 1 tablespoon Thai Fish Sauce
• 1 tablespoon Thai green curry paste (as much or as little as you like, depending how hot you want your curry)
• Pinch of ground ginger, cumin, coriander powder

Method:

Soften onions and garlic over medium heat in oil for about 5 minutes. Add the chicken, and more oil if needed, and stir fry until brown and cooked through. Add mushrooms / vegetables. Stir fry quickly.

Add all the other ingredients. Bring to the boil and then turn down to simmer for about 20 minutes. Add more fresh coriander at the end if you like.

Done. Serve with lots of soft white rice and maybe a nice cool glass of Sauvignon Blanc.

Banishing Birthday Blues

So. I have been a little blue in the lead up to this birthday for various reasons. I was being difficult about wanting to do anything really. I am going to Jamie's recipe place on the Northcote Road to learn "How to cook the perfect steak" on Friday evening courtesy of my sister, so thought that would be my little celebration. That would be good fun, and that would be that.

But, when my lovely local friend said to me last week "can I at least cook you dinner on your birthday?" I found myself saying yes without hesitation. Life has dealt me some tough cards, but I have always been blessed with some really great friends. And I have been so amazed that, despite the presence of the elephant in my life, I have still been able to make some really special local friends too. And last night turned out to be a small but lovely gathering of some of my Sheen and Richmond buddies who I share my life with.

A really fun and relaxed evening. I felt spoilt with little gifts and cards, great food and company. I am really grateful for such a lovely evening.

I had some really nice presents for my birthday. Now, it's not that my other gifts are not going to be cherished - but special thanks to 9 year old Harry for this cake:

Jamie Oliver in the making if you ask me. Tasted fab.

Trivia Tournament Champions at The Plough

Ok. So that is bigging it up somewhat. But team "Quiz Akabusi" did win the pub quiz again last night. And it was called a "Trivia Tournament" on the answer sheets so I am speaking the truth actually.

Last night we had Jon "I'm really tired" the brain, Beth "brilliant at musicals" Ward, Jo "like REALLY clever" with her fiance Steve DJ, "Sixth Sense" Will and er me. Jo Blogz "team organiser." Who made the biggest noise at winning yet contributed the least.

Quite a serious atmosphere in there last night but thank you to landlord man Matthew for a fun evening again. I felt like I started my birthday celebrations one night early as I left with:

• Bottle of wine for winning a bonus question - thanks Jonny
• A voucher for a free round of drinks next week
• Another voucher towards a free bottle of wine if we go 2 more times
• A happy but so tired hubby
• A £43 cheque written out to Breast Cancer Campaign that will go in the post today

Yey.

Encore Australia

A friend sent me these last night. Apparently these were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials. No idea how true that is, but they made me chuckle anyway.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not.... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do...

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.Milk is illegal

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Economy Gastronomy update - Braised Beef

So, we did chicken. Boy. Did we do chicken. Last weekend we moved onto Braised Beef.

I made the bedrock recipe - the Daube of beef (pg 79.) Really easy. You buy a LOT of beef - 2.5 kg. But, recipe straight forward. Again a slow cooking one so it goes in the oven for about 3 hours on a low setting to get the beef nice and tender. I served it the next day for Sunday lunch with the Greens and Colcannon mash when my sister and her hubby come to collect my niece. Resounding thumbs up on this one and I don't think my sister even likes mash.

Having learnt from the chicken overload experience - all the left overs go in the freezer. Just as well as Jonny was not at home to eat for a single evening since last Sunday. Now I know red meat is good for my red cell count but I really could not have eaten all that.

Today is the first day we have seen some more of it. We tumbledowned to the Pappardelle with slow cooked beef and mushrooms (pg 81.) Had every in that was needed - the only extra fresh things you need are tomatoes, mushrooms and basil. This one is a lunchtime winner. You don't get that satisfied Sunday lunch feeling but it does the job. Especially if you want a quick meal:





We need to tumbledown the beef pasties and then I'm not sure whether it will be Lamb Mince or Salmon next. Watch this space.