Brothers and Sisters

I was blogging earlier in the week about American TV series and how much I enjoy them. So I was very excited that Brothers and Sisters was back on Channel 4 for a new series. I spent some rest time today watching it on the sky plus.

However. There is one problem this latest series. Kitty has cancer.

When Lynn got cancer in Desperate Housewives I had similar reservations about whether to persevere. However, it didn't upset me. I thought they reflected some of it well, and some of it appallingly badly. I watched anyway.

And I will watch Brothers and Sisters because I love it.

But today it got me. It got me right there in the stomach. And the tears were rolling and I was sobbing. It took me back to that moment of diagnosis. Those absolutely awful conversations where you have to tell the people you love. And you SO don't want to. You would do anything not to have to tell them the news you have been told. You are lost for words. But you have to say something anyway. Numb. You are about to be thrown into a world that you don't understand and you don't want to. So many questions to deal with, and you don't know the answers. You don't know how you feel. It is impossible to put into words. The best description I can give is I felt like my whole world had been shattered into pieces and not a single part of it would ever be the same again. That's not to say I doubted whether Jon would love me the same, or me him. Or my family or true friends. Or God. Or any of the things I know and I believe in. But things just would be different too.

The moment that was real for me was Rob Lowe brings Kitty her favourite cake that she can have after her tests that she has had to fast for. The most simple thing. A little cake. A friend did this for me for my last scan. It was the kindest thing.

And then Nora (Kitty's mother) cries. She weeps. She weeps for the daughter she loves. So much pain. So much fear.

How can one day the cancer world be so completely alien, and the next you are part of it? Suddenly facing your own mortality. And how are you going to get through the minutes of the hours of the days that follow and somehow make it appear you are coping? So that you will get less questions and those you care about will cope better too.

Well done Brothers & Sisters for not sensationalising the reality. As someone who has been there, and in many ways is still there, I thought you did a good job of portraying something so hard to actually reflect the reality of what it is like. I hope this is a sign of how the story is going to play out. And that she won't suddenly be better in a couple of episodes. Or that the series doesn't go all Hollywood about it. If it does, I will probably be blogging.