Tribute

So, now, I have to write the post I never wanted to write. My beautiful wife passed away peacefully surrounded by family on 4 May 2010 at just 32 years old. I miss her more than I could ever say and I will love her forever but her blog is a source of great comfort. I can hear her saying the words and they trigger so many of my happy memories of her.

Although Jo never really publicised the blog particularly widely, I hope others also continue to find joy in her thoughts and recipes but above all her kindness, which shines through.

I think the best way to end the blog, as suggested by Jo's friend, Lucy, is to post the tribute that her friend Kate gave at the Thanksgiving service for Jo's life.

With love,

Jonny

Tribute to Jo by Kate Patterson, 17 May 2010
I am aware that I cannot begin to do justice to all the memories of Jo and all the love for Jo represented here and across the world by others who can’t be here. She was too special to be summed up by these few words. This tribute is given with deep thankfulness for her life.

Jo only lived 32 years but she made a huge impact for quite a small person. Although as some of you may have heard, she always insisted she was quite tall. We did try to correct this misunderstanding but she would have none of it!

The great impact Jo made was one of love and friendship but I don’t think she realised just how special she was to so many people.

Person after person has spoken to me about Jo’s generous and selfless nature. She genuinely loved to share. I remember going with her to Marble Hill Park and sharing a main course and a cake; afterwards she wrote in her blog, "My friend asked me what kind of things I like to do. I said "things like this." Share life. Share living. Share cake.”

Which brings me on to cake….. an important part of Jo’s life! Jo was a fantastic cook and loved to bake; it was Jo’s plan that we would have cupcakes after the service. She was the cupcake queen. In fact, Gen, who has organized all the cupcakes, told me that her friendship with Jo began and was cemented by the gift of a cake. When her friend Ali had her first baby, Jo organized a baby shower, made beautiful invitations and of course cupcakes.

I pick up from Jon that Jo was the organizer of the household – she was amazingly efficient. In September, Jo took on organizing all the food at our church alpha course, catering for over 70 people on the first night. She wanted newcomers to experience the welcome she had received. For one of the nights, she cooked 180 sausages!

Jo wrote this, “cooking is a way I express my love for those I care about. I love to cook Jonny things he enjoys after a long day at work, or bake cakes for people I care about …… This is a way I express my desire to nourish and support those who surround me.”

She made a cake with love for her niece Maisie’s second birthday. It was a great sadness to Jo that she couldn’t have children but being Jo, she responded by reaching out not shutting off. Jo described Maisie as one of the joys of her life and she adored looking after Maisie and little Hannah.

She was caring without being remotely sanctimonious. In her blog, she writes, “I popped over to see one of my lovely friends yesterday morning. She has a seven week old baby boy and has been struggling with lack of sleep……..So I’ve been pondering all week how best to help her and be supportive”. Typical Jo! What she did was to make soup and give a hug.

There are some great recipes on her blog – though I would love to meet anyone who has had the courage to try Jo’s recipe for sprout smoothie!

Jo was definitely adventurous. She loved to travel and if you haven’t seen her photos of the great whale watching trip, you might want to check out her blog. In fact all her photos are superb. I remember looking at them and thinking is there anything this girl can’t put her hand to? Qualified accountant, well-read, grade 8 piano, great cook, impeccably dressed….. but as her friend and sister Sarah said, none of that mattered to Jo compared to the importance of relationships.

Jo was fun, wasn’t she? She was good at teasing and being teased. She could give it - as she did in my birthday present of a mug which said “domestic goddess in disguise”! She could also take it. Jon used to tease her about her occasional tendency to mix up her words like when they were travelling and she looked out to sea and said, “Look at all those uninhibited islands”.

Jo was always good for a bit of retail therapy and liked the sales because you could focus on what you’d saved rather than what you’d spent. She was our fashion guru. Gerry tells me that she called Jo in to help her pare down her wardrobe. Jo patiently went through everything and when Gerry was reluctant to be ruthless, she simply told her, “Well I couldn’t speak to you at church on Sunday if you wore that!” They laughed a lot as they sorted through Gerry’s clothes and Gerry can now close the doors of her wardrobe.

I know one of Jo’s highlights of this year was the fairytale night at London Fashion week with Lucy where she met HRH Camilla. I hope Camilla knew how honoured she was to shake hands with our Jo. She was also thrilled to meet Rupert Everett who she described as having enormous nostrils!

Jo was beautiful, her shiny dark hair, her gorgeous scarves, her lovely smile and of course, her recent discovery of eyelash extensions!

Jo never felt she was brave but we thought she was. She could so easily have curled up in a corner in the last few years but instead she determinedly looked outwards and upwards. She enjoyed doing her Pilates and set out to learn to be a Pilates teacher. She used me as a guinea pig in January; I am taller for being stretched by Jo!

Jo was determined. We used to joke that although she was very gentle, she was also feisty.
She wrote, “Those who know me, know I do have a determined streak at times.” It was a determination that kicked in with the battle with cancer. She said this, “I refuse to be defined by it. I am so much more than this wretched disease” – and she was. She didn’t allow the fear of dying to stop the joy of living.

Jo had great faith. She believed God was bigger and trusted his love to carry her through the most difficult of times. She quoted this poem on her blog which her mum sent her:

"What cancer cannot do:
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal Eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit"

Jo’s faith was immensely encouraging to us but she never thought she was anything special. She really disliked it when people called her amazing; she was so honest about her fears and her grief and just felt she was trying to make the best of a tough hand in life. I loved this quote on her blog - "This is what I am - Just Jo. Nothing amazing. But here, loved by her family and friends. And Jo just wants to love back."

She did love us back in true Jo fashion.

It was that love and faith that marked out how Jo handled the suffering she encountered. Jo felt the tough stuff acutely but she had the gift of gratitude. She so appreciated her family and the way her mum cared for her. She was grateful for her friends: “… I have some really lovely friends. I know I didn't need to get cancer to tell me that, but to feel the strength of their support is something really quite wonderful.”

Her love for her Jonny was her great enduring joy. She wrote on Valentines Day, “Life may have dealt me some very tough cards, but not when it comes to finding the one.” She even became a genuine Manchester United supporter for Jonny!

Some people can be generous in a way that makes you feel you owe them. Jo never did that I.O.U. thing, she wanted to love us back. That made Jo an Olympic gold medallist at friendship.
One friend wrote this: "It is rare to find a friend you can confide everything in, a friend who really shares your joys and your burdens, celebrates with you and weeps with you and Jo was such a friend."

Another said this: "Knowing her has changed my life more than anyone else ever did. She probably was never aware of how much God used her to teach me. She was a true and honest friend and I feel so blessed to have known her."

And another: "For me it was the greatest privilege to have known her and to have been part of her life. "

And another: "I loved EVERY moment of our friendship, what a privilege to have been Jo's friend, she truly was a gift from God."

Her huge capacity for love and friendship made so many people feel special. It’s why this church is so full today.

All of us who knew Jo know that one of her biggest struggles with cancer was that she wanted to spare us and especially Jonny and her family the pain of grief. Sometimes she would say it was better we had never known her. But I believe that she has enriched our lives in ways that death can’t ever destroy.

Jo wrote this in her blog: "I believe most of us yearn to belong, wherever we are in life. For me, heartbreakingly, doors have been closed. But that is not to say I don't belong anywhere. There are special people and places and moments where I totally do. Not defined by illness or labels or what I look like or whatever. A level beyond any of those temporary things that seek to destroy my human spirit."

Jo grasped that love is eternal and found a deep reassurance in the knowledge that she belonged to God. There is a song she loved by Kathryn Scott called “I belong” which the band are going to sing. These are the words:

"Not angels, nor demons, no power on earth or heaven
Not distance, nor danger, no trouble now or ever
Nothing can take me from your great love
Forever this truth remains – I belong to you

Not hardship, nor hunger, no pain or depth of sorrow
Not weakness, nor failure, no broken dream or promise
Nothing can take me from your great love
Forever this truth remains-I belong to you"

Jo found these words immensely comforting and I believe she would want us to know that same comfort today.

We are deeply grateful to have had Jo in our lives.

Tired Girl

Goodness I feel tired. I think it is physical AND emotional stuff today. It's just hard today. The way things are. And then facing being back at the hospital this week. It is exhausting in itself.

I have had a couple of nice enough days. I took care of my friends little girl yesterday which was lots of fun and I had a nice brunch with friends from University this morning. But I have this need for lots of sleep. It just doesn't always happen at night. But I am hopeful it may happen tonight.

People are so kind though. Messages. Support. Food being dropped round. And love. I just long to be free of all this to love back. Or at least be able to return calls I need to.

Maybe tomorrow it will all come together though. After my very good nights sleep.

Jamie Oliver Italian Restaurant - Kingston

Realise I have been all a bit doom and gloom on here recently. I did do a nice thing today. My sister took me to the new Italian Jamie Oliver Restaurant in Kingston.

We were impressed. Good menu of more traditional Italian food. i.e. there weren't any pizzas on the menu. Anti pasti starters, pasta dishes, and meat and fish mains. I had the mushroom ravioli. Was delicious. And you can see the man rolling and making all the pasta freshly while you eat. Sarah had the pumpkin risotto that she demolished pretty quickly, so we can take that as a sign it was good grub.

On the table next to us were some of Jamie's "team." They were trying every dish to check the quality of the food. They got through a lot of it so I assume they were happy.

No room for puddings and with bread, drinks and two mains in coming in at under £30 was pretty reasonable too. Would definitely go again.

As a complete aside Dame Judi Dench was in there. She really does have amazing skin.

After the rain

Yesterday it was like a monsoon had hit Sheen. It did not stop raining ALL day. But today was a different day. The sun was out, the temperature warmer and I managed to take a short walk in Richmond Park this morning. It was muddy but beautiful.

Then I had much fun with my niece who came to visit. I was very popular today. Think it was the sticker books and chocolate buttons and cake that did it. But I will take the credit anyway. And despite the rain she was very insistent that the plants all needed watering in the garden. Bless.

Down South

We are back home now after our Christmas travels. We made a speedy return home, despite weather warnings. Just as well it was speedy. I developed a migraine quite quickly into our journey and didn't feel very well at all. A large dose of cocodemel and some shut eye meant I actually slept most of the way home. Jonny has a cold but was still very kind and drove us all the way.

We are currently collapsed on the sofa. I think there is something wrong with our TV. It seems to permanently be showing episodes of Top Gear. Anyway, after a couple of hours of rest, the show will go on. I will perk myself up and put on a pretty frock and make it round the corner to lovely Sally's house for New Year celebrations.

We had a nice couple of days up north. We went over to Manchester yesterday for Jonny to go to the match and see Kate and Tim and nephews Freddie and Flynn. They are all well. The boys were busy with their toys. Freddie is very good at reading. Flynn is very good at playing with/destroying his farm. When they were all tucked up in bed and the bigger boys, Jonny and Tim, were at the match, us girls had a nice dinner and then watched the Turning of the Screw on TV with a glass of wine. I am wondering if the white wine and chocolate combo may have triggered this nasty head thing today, as it has before. Must remember that.

I haven't got much further with my New Years resolution list. I think I should drink more water. And focus what is going on in my life that is positive rather than what isn't. It's a fine balance though. I think I also have to acknowledge what I am grieving for. The loss I live with daily. To ignore it is unhelpful. Being positive in my book is not to dismiss or ignore what is going on, or what is lost.

This morning I was prompted to think of good things that have happened in 2009:

• Great holidays: Baja, Tuscany, Jordan, Vancouver Island, Barcelona and Jerusalem. Yes - all great trips indeed for which I am very grateful
• New friendships
• My church has been a great support and blessing to me
• Faithfulness of lasting friendships, who acknowledge the elephant, but still see me as me.
• Family fun - celebrating birthdays etc or just time together
• Started my course - after much deliberation, which has been a positive thing for me to do
• Jonny still has a job despite a volatile situation in the city
• United won the league

I know there are more things I could add to this list.

I also know this is only part of the story. Sometimes I feel people just see what they want to see. It is too hard to see what else is going on, so we just see these things that I have done. Yes I do some great things. I have some great people in my life. I also have this bloomin elephant. And a heart that has much loss and pain in it. There is such a mesh of emotions. And like others dealt tough cards in life, I just get on with it the best I can.

And the best I can do for tonight is have a nice long bath, put on my make up and a smile and go and enjoy seeing in the New Year with my Jonny by my side, in my lovely friends home, a glass of champagne in my hand and faith in my heart.

Happy New Year.

Christmas Day

Woke. Ate. Presents. Drunk. Champagne.

Amazing smoked salmon in the garden with mustard and dill.

Lunch is a feast. The huge turkey is fab. As is the homemade Christmas pudding.

Skype parents at home. They are a bit fuzzy on the screen but good to see them. I am blogging in jonnys ear on my ipod touch right now. It is really annoying him.

So. Christmas here today has been much fun. Warm. Well looked after. Just lovely.

Merry Christmas...xx

Christmas Day: Take 1

I've just had a lovely Christmas Day. I know it isn't actually December 25th today, but as we are away for Christmas this year, my side of the family celebrated today.

As we were hosting, there was a big emphasis on planning the menu:

Starter: Smoked Salmon platter (courtesy of Sarah and Jon) with Dates stuffed with cheese wrapped in pancetta.

Mains: Roast Turkey crown, Fully festive Ham, Pigs in Blankets, Roast Potatoes, Roast Parsnips, Gingerbread Stuffing, Sprouts, Carrots, Bread Sauce, Cranberry Sauce, Gravy.

Afters: Bouche de Noel, Jelly (courtesy of Mum,) Ice Cream (courtesy of Green and Blacks)

I started preparing 2 days ago. Nigella provided the instructions for most of it, she rarely lets me down and the first section of the Feast book was the source of guidance for most of the mains.

The Ham is my traditional thing to make at Christmas. I have never cooked a turkey before though so followed her method of soaking it in water with lots of spices, which apparently guarantees that it will not dry out. It didn't. The Gingerbread stuffing was also a new one for us. It was recommended by a friend. Jonny didn't like it but everyone else did.

After our night out last night I was a little weary this morning and there were quite a few dishes on the go. Fortunately we had prepared a lot in advance and brainy Jonny provided me with a timing schedule. It was still a bit hectic when we all sat down but everyone ate well.

Maisie had little / no interest in her sleep today. So was a little over excited. We opened all our presents around the tree after lunch, the way we always do, and the biggest hit with Maisie was her Peppa Pig umbrella. We all got lots of nice things.

I sit here rather tired this evening, despite the assistance of lots of hands to wash and wipe and a dishwasher. I have that content Christmas feeling though. Grateful for a lovely day. Grateful for family. Just grateful for today. Christmas day: Take 1.

Craven Cottage - Fulham V Manchester United

Those who know me, know very quickly that Jon's second love in life is Manchester United. His first is of course moi. So life involves lots of trips to Old Trafford for Jonny at weekends, and the occasional away game too.

This weekend the away game was at Fulham. Only a few miles from our home. I have suggested on more than one occasion that it would make far more sense to support a local team, but apparently it just doesn't work like that.

I rarely go to the games, but I did put in a request for a ticket for this one. My parents are both originally from Fulham. My grandparents lived on one of the roads very close to Craven Cottage, and as a child I was always very curious what the football ground was like inside. So, it was a bit of nostalgia for me to walk through Bishops Park up to the ground. I haven't been to this part of town for a few years.

And this is what it looks like the other side of those big black gates I used to look at as a child:






Terrible score: 3-0 to Fulham. And it was absolutely FREEZING. Seriously I had to defrost when I got home. Good to see cousin Rob briefly though, and to satisfy childhood curiosity and take a bit of a trip down memory lane.

Lady about town

My niece cracked me up at the weekend. She was determined to walk round in my fancy shoes. Just not very easy to walk in:

However, obviously it was essential to protect oneself from any passing storms when potty training:

December

Nice month. I'm not ignoring the elephant but I'm just too darn tired to go there with the emotions right now. So plan on just trying as best I can to enjoy the next few weeks. We have nice things planned. I'm going to masked ball on Saturday evening. Apparently the champagne is going to be free flowing. I'm looking forward to Christmas meals and very much to Christmas in Jerusalum. A time of friends, family, faith.

On that note. Time to go and get the fibre optic snowman village out of the loft. I will post a picture. It has to be seen to be believed. Woolworths tat at it's finest.

Wicked The Musical

I went to see this show on Friday evening with my ma-in-law and sis-and-bro-in-law. Second only to Cirque de Soleil in Vegus, it was probably the most spectacular set that I have seen in a London theatre. Really all out in the wow factor. Fantastic lighting, costumes and set.

As a pretty new musical, you can see the tracks are going to become real stage classics. My sister in law is already singing some of them with her local choir. My favourite was the "defying gravity" track just before the interval.

We went to Chez Gerrard at Victoria for pre theatre food. Would definitely recommend this. Reasonably priced. Very easy to find. I had a lobster filled crepe. Really good. I was glad we went for pre theatre, rather than post theatre food as I was really very tired by the end of the show. Worth it though. I do find theatre good escapism. I have heard the Jersey Boys is very good so should look into tickets for that.

Jo Blogz Wednesday afternoon update

I got through this mornings hospital business smoothly enough. Thanks for the messages, signs, prayers and love. 5 year old Olly on skype at 7am this morning made me smile a lot.

Afternoon of Gilmore Girls and sewing machine action planned before a possible nap. Am being well looked after today. Gen is even bringing my tea round for me later on as my Jonny is off in Holland with work. Think he may be having a more stressful day than me actually. His secretary printed out the wrong presentation which is nothing to do with what they are meant to be talking about. Just what you need when you don't want to be away from your wife today of all days anyway. Craziness. Spent the morning under the observation of technology myself. Yet technology can bring so much stress all at the same time. I'm not making any sense. Lets blame my glowing radioactive state.

Jamie's Recipease: Northcote Road

Last night we went to learn "How to cook the Perfect Steak." I've been to a couple of other places for cooking evenings. I'm quite big on experiences these days, so this was a great birthday present. And the fact it was steak even got Jonny interested.

This place was a lot more informal and relaxed than other places I have been for cooking lessons, and definitely had that Jamie feel about it. Small group - 10 max, and you can see from the picture you got your own workstation in this area that just forms the rear part of the store.

We started with a glass of wine whilst our host explained to us the different cuts, and showing us how to cook them. We get to try them to get the taste buds going. We learnt that, in her opinion, rib eye gives the best flavour, whilst fillet is the most tender but less strong flavour. So, from what I can remember, your top tips for the perfect steak are:

• Finger test. Thumb to forefinger - meaty part of hand texture = medium rare. Thumb to middle finger = medium. Thumb to ring finger = well done.
• Medium rare is best flavour as the blood and juices are what gives it the flavour
• Get your plan REALLY smokey hot
• Bring steak to room temperature before placing on hot pan (about half an hour)
• Add oil and seasoning generously whilst your steak is on the board. Never add oil to the pan.
• Once steak is in pan, prod it a lot but do not move it.
• Once steak starts to lift from pan - it is sealed and you can turn it
• Only need to turn a steak maximum of 4 times
• Once you see the blood juices coming through - you have a pretty good indication of medium rare
• Allow the steak to rest for approx 5 minutes before serving
• Cut against the grain of the steak

I had to upload this one as it is such a rare picture of Jonny cooking his own dinner. Bless.He looks so serious about it too:

After the steaks were cooked to perfection, we all sat down and ate them with salad and new potatoes and maybe a little more wine. As it is a small group, there is ease of conversation with others at the evening and lots of fun. I tell my fellow chefs that I will be writing a review of this place on my blog so what do they think of it? The overriding consensus is that it is a really fun evening and everyone would definitely go again. Jamie's development points (oh dear I still sound like a big 4 firm consultant...) were:

• Could have brought in more about how to cook the trimmings like potatoes etc
• Most people would have liked some guidance on the sauces you can make with your steak
• No goody bag. A little take home recipe card or something would have been a nice gesture.

After closing the four of us wander on for just one more drink. We end up in Be @ One where I haven't been for 8 years when I first moved to London. We may have ended up doing some good moves to cheesy music (like Baywatch theme tune!) whilst Jon Young played his leg air guitar. Oh dear. But was a very fun evening. Thanks Sis.

Rain did not stop play

I woke up this morning and came downstairs to make the Saturday morning cuppa. Then I heard a sound that did not make me happy. Rain. Loudly splattering on the conservatory roof. Oh dear, I thought. I am taking care of my niece this weekend while her parents are at a wedding. Original plans involved the Lakeland, I mean Wetland, Centre in Barnes. Very rainy day not good.

Next I got a text from a friend asking if I wanted to walk in the park and have tea at Pembroke Lodge at 3. Perfect timing in terms of Maisie Moo sleeps. Not so fun in the rain.

They all arrived. Maisie had one word in her vocabulary that was repeated again and again. "Ducks." Hmm... in the rain.

10.30am decided to ditch the Lakeland/Wetland centre and walk to park. No rain, actually really pleasant. I tell you what though - I learnt that swans and ducks are bloomin scary. Seriously a swan pecked me on the butt! Mais was not remotely phased. I was really quite scared. Richmond Park looks truly beautiful at the moment though. The tree colours are stunning:

I returned to the park later in the day with my friends. No rain but sunshine and blue skies. Truly blessed with a lovely walk. And great cake at Pembroke Lodge. More amazing colours:

I remember when I first moved here just over 3 or so years ago. My then only local friend, who ironically has since left to move to Switzerland with her husband's job, warned me that if you live here you can come over all "smug Sheen." Today was one of those days where you can see what she meant. It is amazing to have this stunning open space at the end of our road. And all the better to have great local friends and a cutie special niece to enjoy it with. Here she is enjoying it herself with "jumping!"

Sorry couldn't get it to turn the other way round. Auntie indulgence to post on my blog none the less. I am sure I will feel less "smug Sheen" when she doesn't register that the clocks go back an hour tonight and we are all supposed to be treated to an extra hours sleep.....

Apple Crumble, Awful lot of food and Alpha

I had a very busy day yesterday. I have learnt that when I am having a very busy day and I have volunteered to bring a pudding, there is one very simple answer - apple crumble.

Ingredients:

4 large or 6 smallish bramley cooking apples
4 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Dash of nutmeg
75 grams butter / margarine / clover / whatever you have in the fridge
100 grams flour
75 grams brown sugar

Preheat oven to 180 degrees.

Peel and chop the apples (worst bit) and put them in a large pan with the 4 tablespoons brown sugar and cinnamon and nutmeg. Add a splash of hot water from the kettle. Bring to the boil and them simmer until the apples soften. This will take about 1o minutes. You don't want puree so be careful not to leave too long. This can be left to cool / done ahead and frozen at this stage.

Put the remaining ingredients in the magi mix. Whizz for a few seconds. Pour the apple mixture into bottom of dish, cover with crumble and bake for about 35 minutes.

Serve with shop bought custard, ice cream or whipped cream. The whipped cream was something of a disaster for me yesterday - see below.

This was the most straightforward bit of my cooking efforts yesterday. I was cooking for the new Alpha course that we are running at church. The menu was straightforward - chili and rice and all the trimmings and puddings. Other happy volunteers were bringing bowls of chili - and I just had to help throw it all together, for up to 100 people. Ahem. These are the things I learnt:

1. Popping to Sainsburys to get the trimmings when factoring up the volume to this many people does not just take about half an hour as I thought it would. And I kid you not my trolley was overflowing. I seriously looked like something out of supermarket sweep. Apologies to anyone else in Richmond Sainsburys yesterday who wanted to buy sour cream, guacamole or nachos. I cleared them out. And also put a very large dent in the salads, boil in the bag rice and orange juice. Oh and I also bought all the ready grated cheddar (yes about 20 bags of the stuff) I wasn't expecting this to draw quite as much attention to myself - lots of well meaning bods decided to comment on my huge quantities of food I was buying. The check out boy even said he wanted to come and help eat it all
2. Bowls. You need a LOT of bowls for this amount of food
3. Whipping cream is a completely unnecessary extra. It was my bright idea to offer a bowl of whipped cream with the puddings. So, in my 45 minute "rest slot" of the afternoon I thought I would take home the cream to whip it up. I had a lot to carry so put the cream in the same bag as the tablecloths that I had spent most of the previous afternoon helping to make, and in between my car and my front door - the cream burst in the bag, all over the tablecloths. So, bear in mind it is now approx 5.15pm and the event starts at 7.30pm. And I have just managed to burst cream all over Burgundy tablecloths. Genius.
4. A scrubbing brush and hairdryer can save the day. Tablecloths spread out over the floor, hot water and lots of scrubbing. Now they are slightly patchy and soaking wet. Drape them over the banisters and blast with the hairdryer. This done whilst getting changed and applying make-up in an attempt to try and look vaguely pretty later on, and not someone who had just done 12 rounds (yes 12) with the tablecloths and hairdryer after a couple of hours in Sainsburys.
5. Boil in the bag rice serves more that you think. I followed guidance - one bag per person - we had more rice than you can possibly imagine. I will never forget fishing bags and bags of the stuff out of huge pans to snip them and wondering where we going to put it all. We had an embarrassing amount left. Allegra would not have been happy (see previous post on Economy Gastronomy) I was not happy. I hate wasting food, I just found it so hard to judge the amount we would need.
6. Estimating the amount of food you need is really hard. Live and learn I say, better too much than too little.

This list is by no means a moan. Honestly. I loved being part of last night. The room looked great, and the the tablecloths did too. Everyone ate well, and we had loads of seconds and the selection of puddings was fantastic. The live music, the talk, the atmosphere (and hopefully the food!) made for lots of smiles and laughter. And the hope is that new people who came along would have had a really good evening, and felt really welcome like I did last year, and will want to come again and find out more. That is so long as they don't start demanding whipped cream with their pud. There are boundaries to my capacity to hold it all together. That one pushed me to the limit.

Julie and Julia (and Birthday Cake)

I went to see Julie and Julia with my lovely friend Dhini on Thursday. I loved this film. In fact, right now I loved that film so much it is pretty high in my list of all time favourite films. It may just be that I have seen it at the right time - and maybe it won't seem so great when I buy it when it is released on DVD (like immediately) - but for now I loved it.

I have been trying to figure out what I liked about it so much. So, in no particualar order:

1. Merril Streep was AMAZING. I loved her character and the way she portrayed her.
2. It was set in Paris and New York, two of my favourite cities
3. It was about cooking. I LOVE to cook.
4. Both Julie and Julia loved and were loved by their husbunds for what they were. I am too
5. It made me want to blog again, something that has been on my mind for far too long.

I think my favourite line of the film was early on, after a tough day Julie is cooking and explains why she loves to cook. Not in her exact words but it is along the lines of the certainty of cooking. No matter what has happened in your day, you can have complete certainty that with the correct attention to detail and ingredients, then you can be certain that eggs and cream and butter will combine in the same way. And this is so true. One of my favourite things to do is to disappear into my kitchen, with radio 4 on rather too loudly, and to cook. To get out my pots and pans, or for a real treat my bakeware, and to combine ingredients and create good things. The creativity of good cooking, the reliability I have in Nigella and Delia to give me advice that will be true and I trust, is something I really enjoy. The more I bake and cook, the more I learn about what egg whites can do for royal icing and a dash of flour in a casserole can transform it. And once these lessons have been learnt they stay with me for the rest of my days.

I guess cooking is also a way I express my love for those I care about. I love to cook Jonny things he enjoys after a long day at work, or bake cakes for people I care about or throw together some cheese on toast when a friend may unexpectedly drop round for lunch. This is a way I express my desire to nourish and support those who surround me.

One of the joys of my life is my niece, Maisie Charlotte Young. Tomorrow my family will celebrate her second birthday. Through some difficult days, I also have certainty in her that she will smile when I sing badly, laugh when I crawl around on the floor and put her arms up for JoJo when I walk through the door. So today, with the best of my ability I have produced her birthday cake (and cookies) for her party. They may not win any awards, but I gave this baking my all - because I love her dearly and want her to look at a photo of her cake one day, and know her JoJo baked not for praise, not for anyone else at the her party, but just for her. Happy Birthday Mais.