Women's Breakfast

I love the women's breakfast at church. It is usually just once a term, and a time for women to get together, chat, laugh, share and usually we have a speaker.

I went along this morning. My digestive problems have been so hideously bad recently, coupled with my insomnia, that yesterday I didn't think I was going to make it. This would have been a blow having not gone to the Love Maggies afternoon yesterday, which I really wanted to go to, and having to rearrange my course assessment that was meant to be today too. I was feeling like I was going to be bound to the sofa for the rest of my days.

Anyway thanks to advice from my hospice nurse (who is AMAZING and so much help) I managed some sleep last night and this morning was feeling better so did make it.

I guess there are about fifty or so women who usually go along, and the rough age range is from those in their early twenties through to early sixties. I love the fact that no labels apply though. By that I mean it doesn't about your age, career, family circumstances, illness or whatever. It's just a bunch of lovely ladies who get together, have a chit chat over some croissant and fresh coffee and share their lives with each other for a couple of hours on a Saturday morning.

This morning an amazing lady talked about how her faith had helped her to cope with her partial facial paralysis which suddenly hit her 18 months ago. And then a wonderful hilarious guest speaker used the analogy of clothes to talk about how we try to fit and clothe ourselves in what doesn't always fit - and how our faith challenges and frees us from that. I laughed a lot and caught up with friends. A very different place from the sobbing mess I was in yesterday evening.

Now home armed with a strategy to try and sort out my digestion. I am still on full anti sickness medications nine days post chemo. This is not great. I tried stopping them yesterday and it was something of a disaster. I am treating myself like a child. I have made myself a sandwich. Cut it into quarters and will be eating ONE quarter PER hour this afternoon and no more. That is how bad things have become that I am having to ration myself small portions of food so I don't get some hideous reaction.

In the dark moments of yesterday evening it occurred to me that it really isn't any wonder I feel so ill. I haven't been able to digest a proper meal in over a week. Even though I am exhausted I can't sleep because of my insomnia. I am in all likelihood very anaemic right now. And my white cell count will be at the lowest in the cycle meaning I have very little immunity. So I decided to give myself a break. Put all that together, along with the bloomin nasties in my body, and it is no surprise I have been feeling so shocking.

It's no fun. So I am very grateful those lovely girls had me smiling and laughing this morning. Now time for some TV in bed. I am just going to be very kind to myself right now because that is what I need.