Back for more

Yesterday I was back for my ten hour stint of infusions in the chemo ward. Joy upon joy. Usual drill of my seat in the corner. Usual faff of entering my veins and port. Usual doesn't mean I am ok with it. It is still a horrid thing to go through. That's the kind of thing people like to comfort themselves with. That I am used to it all by now. Yeah right. For the record you don't "get used to cancer." You just get on with it the best you can because you have no choice.

People often ask me what I do the pass the time. Which is one of those questions that people who have never been through this would obviously ask. But this isn't like just sitting there nursing a broken leg or something. I feel progressively more ill the more chemicals enter my bloodstream, so reading a book or whatever, really isn't what I feel I can do. I knit a little. I sleep a bit. I flick at a few pictures in magazines. I took my new laptop with me yestaday so wrote a little in the morning when I could.

Jonny has been in the far east all week with work, although thankfully landed very early this morning. So my Mum stayed over with me last night. Within half an hour of being home there was a ring at the doorbell and a delivery of a hot homemade casserole and freshly baked scones. How grateful we are for accepting support and help.

Some parts of my experiences are private and complex. But there have been various changes to my medications and because I have had such rough time, a considerable increase in the list and type. Ann the (hospice) nurse came today to help me with all of that side of things and I am feeling more in control.

Maybe. Just maybe this time won't be so bad. I smile. It is nearly 4pm and I am still in my PJ's. I've only just realised with my chemo brain. Hmm. Maybe things won't be that good either. But any improvement I will take. Just don't mention n.a.u.s.e.a.

More Snow

It can stop now. It isn't funny anymore. Gone is the excitement about the fresh white snow, and instead I was mildly grumpy when I woke this morning to a fresh covering. It made my walking out and about this morning a lot harder work. The nurse nearly didn't make it in who I needed to see, but thankfully did. It meant my sister and niece didn't make it over here this afternoon. And it doesn't even look pretty anymore. In the space of about 2 hours our road has turned to grey slush. Yuk.

Now I know us Brits love to talk about the weather. But this one is getting boring now. And quite frankly really annoying.

I'd rather stick to the snow ball game on the wii fit plus thanks. Speaking of which I am currently household champion on both the ski slalom and the skateboarding. NEVER thought I would see the day that I was pleased with my computer game score.... it's all this snow. I must need to get out more.

I met a lady this morning who was visiting the UK from Uganda. She had literally just arrived in Richmond. I asked her if she had ever seen snow before. Only on Christmas cards or the television apparently. I think she was quite amazed by it. And cold. Having come from such a hot country, she didn't have any suitable footwear for cold weather. I am currently sewing up an old pair of ugg boots which will hopefully help keep her feet warm while she is here.

On reflection I should probably stop being so British constantly moaning about the weather. It's just that on certain days it is the little things that can make such a difference. A lovely bunch of flowers arrived yesterday afternoon from a friend who knew I had been a little down of late and wanted to brighten my day. Which it did. And I think a little British cuppa right now should help get me through this (cold) afternoon.